Young men who feel trapped would do well to remember that tradition does not only exists in the countryside. Returning to tradition is more about how you live than where you live.
I have repeated dreams about small communal living spaces. Ones that are edged by trees, pocketed with gardens, fringed with trails. One big kitchen, small individual spaces for a bed and a shelf of books. I remember these places in Black Mountain, NC. These are possibilities when we can get more minds to shift about how we live, the traditions we keep, the way we construct structures.
Buying property in a rural area and living that life is no longer something I romanticise. I live in a regional area in the sub-tropics with a lot of rural land nearby. There's many stories of people moving here from the big cities to live on property. Many of them end up selling and moving away because the maintenance required is crippling. The slow-paced country life they expect turns into endless mowing, weeding, chopping, etc.
I can relate to the person you described - although my situation is nowhere near as bad. Our house lacks the space to do practical projects like woodworking. I'd love to have a workshop and would definitely use it to make wood-related creations. I wanted to take up whittling but that's very hard here in Australia. Due to our climate, our wood is mostly hardwood which is unsuitable for whittling. Every year, we have avocado season. I worked out that the seed is soft wood that we just throw away so I now keep avocado seeds and use them for carving. I can only make small, simple objects. It's a small gesture that involves doing something useful with my hands, a good relief from the job I do which keeps me on the computer all day.
Well, I was never a man, but I was a young woman in my twenties dreaming of living in the countryside who could never afford it. Couldn't afford to buy and rentals v hard to come by rurally in my part of the world. In my late thirties now and have managed to do some stints of time rurally but had to come back to cities for economic reasons. I now know it's not something I'll grow out of wanting. Dark, quiet, space, trees, water. I have young kids so maybe it's something I'll be able to give them. Maybe not.
In addition to craft, reclaiming connection in small, concrete ways is within everyone’s grasp. Looking someone in the eye, sparking up conversation with the person in the seat next to you, being aware of real human beings in your space rather than being glued to a screen or sticking earbuds in your ears while running errands - these too are acts of healing and tiny moments of communion.
Get a typewriter and deprogram yourself. And, two years ago, I found a two acre place with a huge shed and fenced land for $60,000. Those places still exist but you have to learn how to use Zillow to find them. And you have to keep trying.
If you have a window, you can grow plants. Sure, one dwarf tomato won't add much to your groceries, but it will add to your self respect. If you can afford a knife you can find a fallen branch somewhere (or buy a piece of wood on amazon if there are no trees around) and whittle and be amazed at what your two hands can create. If you have legs you can go for a walk down the street in the evening and remember you are more than just your mind. If you still prefer to be in your head, you can find a quiet corner in a public library and read the old books no one is reading. If you have a room of your own you can put a cross on a wall and pray before it. Despair is a normal human reaction to the dismal reality but it doesn't have to last forever.
And most important of all - you can look for others, there's plenty of us in the same dark place, we can kindle some light for each other.
Young men who feel trapped would do well to remember that tradition does not only exists in the countryside. Returning to tradition is more about how you live than where you live.
I have repeated dreams about small communal living spaces. Ones that are edged by trees, pocketed with gardens, fringed with trails. One big kitchen, small individual spaces for a bed and a shelf of books. I remember these places in Black Mountain, NC. These are possibilities when we can get more minds to shift about how we live, the traditions we keep, the way we construct structures.
Beautiful, truthful, tragic and timely.
My two-plus grandson’s favorite toy is a little cast metal replica of the Liberty bell which he rings with wonder proclaiming, ‘It’s a bell!!’
Metal, wood, leather. Such elements are earthy and ground us to who we are.
Buying property in a rural area and living that life is no longer something I romanticise. I live in a regional area in the sub-tropics with a lot of rural land nearby. There's many stories of people moving here from the big cities to live on property. Many of them end up selling and moving away because the maintenance required is crippling. The slow-paced country life they expect turns into endless mowing, weeding, chopping, etc.
I can relate to the person you described - although my situation is nowhere near as bad. Our house lacks the space to do practical projects like woodworking. I'd love to have a workshop and would definitely use it to make wood-related creations. I wanted to take up whittling but that's very hard here in Australia. Due to our climate, our wood is mostly hardwood which is unsuitable for whittling. Every year, we have avocado season. I worked out that the seed is soft wood that we just throw away so I now keep avocado seeds and use them for carving. I can only make small, simple objects. It's a small gesture that involves doing something useful with my hands, a good relief from the job I do which keeps me on the computer all day.
Well, I was never a man, but I was a young woman in my twenties dreaming of living in the countryside who could never afford it. Couldn't afford to buy and rentals v hard to come by rurally in my part of the world. In my late thirties now and have managed to do some stints of time rurally but had to come back to cities for economic reasons. I now know it's not something I'll grow out of wanting. Dark, quiet, space, trees, water. I have young kids so maybe it's something I'll be able to give them. Maybe not.
In addition to craft, reclaiming connection in small, concrete ways is within everyone’s grasp. Looking someone in the eye, sparking up conversation with the person in the seat next to you, being aware of real human beings in your space rather than being glued to a screen or sticking earbuds in your ears while running errands - these too are acts of healing and tiny moments of communion.
Beautifully written, yet solid practical advice and encouragement. Thank you.
Very well written Ryan.
Get a typewriter and deprogram yourself. And, two years ago, I found a two acre place with a huge shed and fenced land for $60,000. Those places still exist but you have to learn how to use Zillow to find them. And you have to keep trying.
If you have a window, you can grow plants. Sure, one dwarf tomato won't add much to your groceries, but it will add to your self respect. If you can afford a knife you can find a fallen branch somewhere (or buy a piece of wood on amazon if there are no trees around) and whittle and be amazed at what your two hands can create. If you have legs you can go for a walk down the street in the evening and remember you are more than just your mind. If you still prefer to be in your head, you can find a quiet corner in a public library and read the old books no one is reading. If you have a room of your own you can put a cross on a wall and pray before it. Despair is a normal human reaction to the dismal reality but it doesn't have to last forever.
And most important of all - you can look for others, there's plenty of us in the same dark place, we can kindle some light for each other.